I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Randomize
