I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
