ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Randomize
