Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
