sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
We left the knife in your bed.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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