i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
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