I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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