Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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