I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
