i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I love you. Go after that dick
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
