wakey wakey hands off snakey
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Be still, my beating vagina.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
