He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
false alarm. still invincible.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
