Already got asked if we're dating
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
