apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
my liver is dry heaving
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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