she was so not down for the gang bang
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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