She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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