Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
