TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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