He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
