oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
