im drinking this country out of the recession.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
