it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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