ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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