just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
