But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
