It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize