i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize