Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize