Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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