You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
