Ambien. No doubt about it.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
