I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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