come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
