1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Too much gin, very little bucket
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
