I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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