Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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