That's intense
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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