I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
