She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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