haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Let's get the cat blown out
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
