billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
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