so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
