I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
