But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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