Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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