She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
