dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
wat bout pragnant strippers??
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize