The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
