So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I could make wine with my vomit
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize