I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
