fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
