you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
