remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
