I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
