Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
