don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
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