In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
