I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
