That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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