I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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